Weee Another roller-coaster week! I'm not really in a ranty mode. Let's just say I've been trying to stay awake all week with my lectures and time with lover is smooth sailing mostly with hints of choppy waters. But I don't mind at all cuz our cruise is definitely pleasant. XD So without further ado here are my arts and craps! I mean crafts X3

Mangaholix 2009 Aki Duel Academy Uniform:


Aki Duel Academy 1 by ~YAMAZAKI-UMA on deviantART


Aki Duel Academy 2 by ~YAMAZAKI-UMA on deviantART

Meet our old friend Jerome (http://chichapie.deviantart.com/) here who was his indie comic booth. We caught up and it was fun so please support his work! Also I played some yu-gi-oh and bought some cards. I'm still quite in loserville cuz I haven't been playing for a while but still it's the game that counts right?

Also more fake food plush obsession:




Fake Cakes Plush by ~YAMAZAKI-UMA on deviantART


Fake Chestnut Cake by ~YAMAZAKI-UMA on deviantART


Fake Bannofi Cake by ~YAMAZAKI-UMA on deviantART


Fake Cookie Cake by ~YAMAZAKI-UMA on deviantART


Fake Straberry Cake by ~YAMAZAKI-UMA on deviantART


Fake Heart Cake by ~YAMAZAKI-UMA on deviantART

Yep, I'm crazy for these things and you will certainly see more of that as I'm easily bored I assure you. XD

Man, everything just had to come down when it comes to health matters. Besides having ulcer; I've also accumulated sore eyes, sore throat and the usual dysmennorhea. It again made me out of commission for the entire first week leaving me with nothing to do but recuperate. All I did at home was sleep, try to eat and do facebook games. I've been trying to draw/paint as well but still I work slow.

Also my costume has been delayed because of technical stuff and I wouldn't get it till the middle of next week. It's nothing really grand; just something to wear during the loads of conventions happening this month. I do hope I can still participate in these kinds of happenings and school doesn't wear me down before Christmas.

Hmm...What else? Since I've been sicky, lover just comes to visit me at home and I'm really glad. Quality time here has a more "homie" feel which is really nice. At least mum let me shop during the weekends so that I'm not really coped-up at home. Got me new glasses too, but like my costume I'll get that next week too.

Well that's pretty much the boringness that is my life so far. I'll try to upload more useful things next time.

Ok so sem break is over...and was quite useless because of my insomnia. Damn I really should get a prescription for Valium or the likes. Also a lot of the drawings/paintings I intended to finish. Why you ask? For the obvious reason of sickness. Yes now I have ulcer hurrah! And no I am not anorexic or dieting. I just happen to have sensitive stomach. ^_^


Man Second semester truly brings foresee-able stress. Especially with surgery around the corner. Something wicked this way comes you hear? Oh well might as well suck it up. I need my lover and I need lotsa luck! XD

Ok too tired to type...will get back shortly...

Howdy! It's been a week since sem. break. As expected, exam was hell to pay and a lot of other problems occur along the way. But it's all good, I gave my all to solve them and I do hope it pays off. As of now I'm in relax city. I've been drawing and gaming a lot.

This certain delightful Nintendo Wii game filled my days with joy.  I've also been seeing lover lately and been playing with him so that is indeed a welcomed bonus.

But with the up comes with the down. Insomnia has been kicking it a lot lately and my mother sure knows how to rub that in. Money is scarce during vacation days as well and limited moments to go out. Oh well you can't have 'em all. Especially in my case. Oh how I wish I could experience a Halloween party; seems like everyone else had one.

So here is the product of my mundane life.

Halloween Black Rose by ~YAMAZAKI-UMA on deviantART

I try to bring more soon. I hope.

Wow, I can't believe it has been a while since the accursed flood and my last posting here. Things had become very very hectic as expected. There were a lot of recovering that had to be done slowly but surely. School has been very toxic with the requirements especially in Clinics. We had the busiest time in the hospital and the patients just kept poring in. Well it is a good thing since I was able to complete my task. I suffered a lot of sleepless nights just to complete paper work especially my thesis draft. Lover and I had a hard time seeing each other as well because our schedule had kept on opposing until recently.

The good thing is exams would be next week and break is just around the corner. Lover has gotten some time off as well so we were able to see each other recently. Lucky! XD I'm really hoping I do well in the finals and I'm giving it my best shot. After that is chill time for me. I'll be hibernating, and gaming, and drawing. I'm really looking forward to hone my other skillz and all the new games I'm gonna haul this sem. break. X3

Being hopeful is good for your soul.

If we were still living in ancient biblical times, everyone would pretty much say "God broke his promise." The lands of Luzon is devastated by heavy rainfall and flood as everyone knows it and feels it right now. Noah could definitely relate here.

Well I'm just glad everyone is safe and our house is still intact and most of my friends that I know are AOK. Sadly our business has suffered a beating. The office has been fully submerged and all our stuff were raging wet especially our merchandise. (Cars and Parts) I really feel bad about it and I can't even help my folks out. I hope we recover from it eventually.

In other disaster news I was one with those people stranded in EDSA. Hotel Sogo became lover and my salvation. (Not that way pervs!) Lover's car broke down and w Sogo management were gracious enough to let the car to be parked there until it got fixed. If you're wondering, it's still not fixed up to now. So there we just wandered around SM City and Trinoma until they closed early and the rain drew to a slow drizzle that night. Lover walked with me home, wet to the bone despite our umbrellas and then he hitched a ride home himself.

Well things could have been worse I guess...I don't know, I just hope people will be more responsible. Though I kind of doubt that. I don't really buy that "bayanihan" BS I'm sorry. It's everyone's fault this happened in the first place.

Please let the future be better?

Ever since I've been uber busy with TRYING to be as serious as I can with vet med life, I've been missing a lot of things that I enjoy doing but not as much as before. I miss...

Cosplaying/Modeling:

Aki Izayoi-2008 by ~YAMAZAKI-UMA on deviantART


Drawing:

Silver the Hedgehog Gajinka by ~YAMAZAKI-UMA on deviantART

Writing:

The Last Day of Eternity

 

Speak hollow world

It may be the last time you will.

It makes me quite happy actually

To look forward to a day

With no more secrets.

Finally,

I get to sit beside you

Without being afraid

Of someday fluttering away.

Whoever knew

That bleeding doesn’t hurt too bad

When the piercing stops?

Traitors

 

Whenever I am weak and frail,

I imagine my skin being torn off my body

And the flesh slowly melting away.

Because in this way I will no longer feel

Alienated with myself,

Betraying my body

With useless vices

That produces nothing

But regret and after shock

And the hurtful lessons of love.

If there is no body

Then love would not be felt

And neither will be pain.

 

Smudge

 

Lie to me

And make it feel real

Like thick black smoke

From expensive cigarettes

Floating amidst

This surreal world

Covered with black fog

So it won’t reveal

The filth among us

And my romance would be saved

I can forget about myself

And stop being me

As long as you fill me

With this dark illusion

I will become high and addicted

To this world you create

Just for me

So I can ignore the loneliness

Once in a while

And effectively convince myself

It doesn’t hurt

I will feel alive with you

Even in everything else is dead.

 
---

Haha long entry is long! But I don't care at least I'm still delivering something and hopefully I can deliver more. I do miss a lot more things like immersing myself in gaming especially wii, and meditating and reading for leisure and witchcraft...But I hope I can catch up to them in time eventually.

Ooooh I'm in this situation again. When it rains, it really pours...literally even! I'm so very very disappointed with myself right now especially academics-wise. My exams are flunking. It's one thing that you didn't study and was irresponsible enough to know nothing, it's another to be careless and fail because I wasn't thinking clearly. I don't know why...maybe its because of stress or thinking too much...it's like I'm zoning out more and more and I'm making the stupidest mistakes. My efforts and intentions are currently being wasted like garbage. It's making me so damn frustrated because like what I say like a mantra, I cannot fail. But apparently I am. I feel really worthless right now...

What is wrong with me now?

What the hell am I going to do?

I really am not as lucky as I think I am.

Lately I've been experiencing moments of  "both worlds" syndrome as I call it. It means I am again in a world of extremes where very good and very bad things are happening to me.

I will start last weekend when dad insisted on going out of town. We went to this funky place in Batangas called THE FARM. It's this all vegan health spa. It is extremely beautiful and serene not to mention secluded. It could've been paradise on earth metaphorically speaking. The downside is I wouldn't survive for three days in there. Why? Because there is no meat!!! Everything there is vegan organic even the dairy stuff. I cannot possibly bear that. Plus everything there is gold I tell you! The food and treatments were so damn expensive that if they didn't had that promo discount that time we would have left in a jiffy. It was an experience I tell you. XD

Shortly after that was exam week. I maintained my "not studying" strategy as I mentioned last entry. I still read a pile of books but I wasn't as hard core as prelim exams and focused more on my notes. I felt it working but I am still very unsure. Yea I like to gamble on my career like that. X3 What's more thesis has been really stressful. Sometimes our teachers can be so confusing and unreasonable that even if you like what you're doing sometimes it still didn't make any sense putting effort into it. But I'm glad I still finished early.

This weekend I just laid back and did nothing even though deadlines are just around the corner. On stormy weather I enjoyed shopping, having sudden "escapades" with lover even though some of it were difficult, and attending the equine seminar on Manila Polo Club. It was my first time going around Cerendra, Bonifacio High st. too! Even though the only thing I did there was buy food.

So there goes my roller-coaster like week literally full of ups and downs. It can be enjoyable yet too darn stressful. @_@ I wonder how my luck will push thru?  I hope my efforts (or the lack of it) will pay off. XD

Lately I've been thinking about my life and at one point can't help but be depressed. I'm quite worried bout my future cuz I'm not sure if I will succeed in all my endeavors. Since I've become a vet med student, I've lived on the motto on "failure is not an option". I've made effort to stay to be one of the top without being too hardcore and compromising the other things I'm still interested as well. But as the end-game draws near being roughly a year away, I become more and more scared of failing.

The one thing that has always troubled me since my childhood is how restrictive my parents are. They always bring me down and never allow me to do things normal people my age do. Eventhough I'm aware I'm materially blessed, they do not fully believe in my abilities and always condemn me to underestimation. Yea I sure am thinking a lot.

I am hoping that by becoming a successful vet would lead me to escape from my family and finally be with my lover with no inhibitions. Right now that is what I want more than anything else. Now my head is filled with 'what ifs'. What would happen after I finally become a vet? What if I actually fail? Where would I go? Things like that.

Whatever, I hope I figure that out along the way. Whatever courage and confidence I have I gotta muster each morsel of it so I don't chicken out. The pressure of academics is driving me nuts because I put a lot at stake into it. I hope I keep my cool...and ultimately my insanity.

Other people sure the hell don't know how lucky they are.